Choose Joy

Day 11

Good morning!! Sometimes being positive is that more difficult because you are in a storm and you are just striving to be happy. Happiness, just as the storm, is temporary. If we are seeking to be happy for these 21 days, then on day 23 we may just fall right back off the positivity wagon. 

Happiness is an emotional state that so much focus is put on but can easily be taken away once a trial occurs or your day is set off. 

Joy is being able to rejoice in knowing that there is not a storm that the Lord cannot calm or remove. I know even in this time some of you are going through some things that make it feel so impossible to be positive. However CHOOSE JOY! Don’t fake it but Faith it. Have faith that you will be able to do all things through Christ who strengthens you (Phil 4:13) and remember there is not a battle that has defeated you because you are still alive to push for another day. I challenge you to start choosing joy daily even in the midst of what you are going through instead of defeat, complaining, or temporary emotions. 

“Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” (1 Thess 5:16-18). 

Have a blessed positive day!! - Monica

Matters of the heart

Day 6

Good morning!! Yesterday we focused on loved to love, and to make that even more clear today we want to look at something that keeps us from loving others often; unforgiveness. 

Unforgiveness is one of the big things that make it hard to be positive. Think about it, you are in a great mood and having a great day but then you see someone who did something to you in the past and your mood completely switches up. Even further it causes those who are around you, who may know about the situation to add into the negative feelings. Or another example your spouse or significant other does something and you are holding on to it days later, you end up having negative feelings in your heart and worse your living environment. Yet through both of these examples you try to move on as if everything else is okay. 

You can’t pray for God to make you more positive while you are harboring unforgiveness. The bible tells us “But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too” Mark 11:25. 

              Forgive

How much unforgiveness are you harboring? We are not sinless, and daily we are forgiven by God. I know that if you are on this challenge/fast you want to make changes and hopefully are praying on those changes; so clear your heart to receive all the positive things to come.  

Today I want you to begin reflecting on your most recent dealings with unforgiveness and begin to forgive. Tomorrow we will continue to reflect on practical ways to forgive. As always you are welcome to reach out for prayer or encouragement via the comment box on the blog, as I know this is one of the hardest topics to deal with. Have a blessed & beautiful day! -Monica

Confidence

Day 4

Good morning!! Confidence can at times be something that blocks us from being positive. Insecurities and doubt can breed much negativity. Many of us have a hard time seeing how our insecurities affect those around us but some of us already know it does. An example may be how you respond in offense to something that is said due to your own insecurities with a certain matter. 

As we reflected yesterday on wanting what others have, we can also lose confidence in ourselves through comparisons to others. Maybe you have someone in your life who you feel is smarter, more attractive, more well off and in turn it causes you to feel that you are not as significant. This can hold you back from your calling or cause you to not walk confidently in your purpose. This may also cause you to be overly critical of yourself and not truly love who you are. We have to have confidence in who we are created to be and even further in our Creator. The bible says you are “I will praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made….” (Psalm 139:14). It encourages you to praise God for the way that He created you. With NO MISTAKES. How much more positive could we be if we praised God for who he made us to be? When those struggles arise, which is common, we have to be able to trust in our confidant who we can lay all these insecurities to. Are you confident in your confidant? (Read Jeremiah 17:7) 

         You're a blessing 

Let’s begin to thank God for who we are and the positive changes we are making. I know that each and every one of you is special and am eager to hear you Confidently being more positive by loving who you are! Have a wonderful day! -Monica

I want it.

Good morning!! Today I want us to focus on wanting what others have. The last commandment tells us “You must not covet (yearn to possess) your neighbor's house…” Exodus 20:17. Let’s take a moment to reflect on it. How many things have you simply wanted because someone else had it, and it caused you to respond negatively if you were unable to obtain it? This can come easy in a society where advertising is the norm. I mean think about what most ads do, they set you up to see something and make it look appealing to the point that you feel you need it and have to have it or you will feel unsatisfied. How this applies to our day to day is it causes us to not notice how we tend to want what others have. 

              DAY 3

This could relate to wanting the life we “think” someone has, the job that someone has, marriage, baby, (the list goes on…). This leads to negativity because you are not content where God has you and discontentment can cause conflict, depression or even asking/praying to God “why not me”. The more you focus on those things that you do not have the less you can open your heart to appreciate the season you are in and what you do have. Even further do you really want the truth of what the person experienced to get there? Your story is not meant to be anyone else's. I challenge you when you begin to feel that urge to yearn for what someone else has ask yourself, “Why do I want it?”. So let's shift to a positive mindset and begin being GENUINELY happy for those in season of success or breakthrough and being content in our own season as we are being perfected. I mean no one could do a better job at being YOU. Have a positive, content day!!! -Monica

Don't stress, Rest.

DAY 2

Good morning! How many times do we tend to use "stress" as an excuse to be negative? This can easily occur especially in the fast pace, high demand society we live in. Today I want to bring attention to the impact of stress on us. The dictionary defines stress as “a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances.” The main thing I want to point out is that it is the “mental”, that means we have control over how we respond in our mental space. How can we create a positive mental space if we are viewing stress as a barrier/excuse? I encourage you to rest your stress upon the Lord. You aren’t and never have been in control of certain stressors, so why not release the mental/emotional strain. How much more effective can you be today if you put that stress to rest. The Lord tells all of us whoever is weary and burdened to come to Him and he will give us rest (Matt 11:28-30). Also read John 14:27 & James 1:2-4. 

Today I encourage you not to stress but to REST. Have a blessed, Positive day!! - Monica

Friendship.

When you think about the word friendship what comes to mind? Are you flooded with happy thoughts and warm memories of those you love, or are you flooded with thoughts of hurt, betrayal and disappointment?  God’s design for friendship was to bless and nourish our lives. These relationships were meant to be fulfilling, lasting, encouraging and life changing. However, this is rarely the case today; those who have experienced true friendship know this.

Proverbs 27:17 (NIV) states:

17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

Friendship should sharpen you; it should make you a better person. The support, love and faithfulness of true friends manifest the best qualities within us. There is something special about being able to spend time or chat with a friend uninhibited. Being able to trust that you’re able to share your thought, dreams, and fears in a safe environment, with someone who loves you and has your best interest at heart. A friend doesn’t always agree with you, but a friend will support you and communicate to you if and when you’re not making the best decisions.  Healthy friendships support growth.

Charles Stanley, a great bible teacher once stated that, “independence is a prized attribute in our culture, but biblically, it isn’t a worthy aspiration. Nowhere in Scripture will you find the erroneous quote, “God helps those who help themselves.” The very fact that the Lord formed the church—a community of believers—should tell us that He did not create people for self-sufficiency or isolation.”

Friendship is God’s design.

 

1 Corinthians 15:33(NIV) states:  Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

 

What type of friends do you have? Do your friends encourage you to do things contrary to the way you desire your life to go. Do your friends encourage or support destructive behaviors? Think about your friendships, and if they are the best relationships for you.

Below are some tips for strengthening and building healthy friendships:

1. Nurture your friendships: Take time to invest in them, and be available.
2. Don't allow comparisons or jealousy to sneak in: Rejoice when your friends rejoice, and share in their burdens with them.
3. Pray for your friends: Guard their conversations and or prayers with honor. Don't be a gossiper.
4. Encourage your friends: Assist your friends when you’re able to. Let them know you value their friendship.

The key to friendship is vulnerability and communication. You must become vulnerable. You must have trust, and honesty. You must invest in the relationship, and you must have open communication.

Sweet Lips.

What we continually speak will eventually manifest itself into our lives. This happens because the things we speak whether good or bad, right or wrong, negative or positive we will begin to believe and receive. These words are like seeds that will settle within our hearts and eventually grow into large trees (be it healthy or unhealthy). 

It's extremely important for us to be conscious of the things we give voice to.  Have you ever heard the old adage "If  you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all"? That concept was right on point. Don't allow your words to create a prison for you by saying things like, "I'll never lose weight", "I'll never get a better job", "Nothing good ever happens to me", I'll never get pregnant (married couples)", "I'll never get married", "No one ever supports me", "I always get the short end of the stick", "I'm not smart enough", "I'm not pretty", "Everyone says I'm not good enough", "They said I'd never do anything with my life...", "I'll always be broke", "I'll never get out of debt", "I can't keep friends", "I'm always struggling"... and on and on and on... You get the picture. NEGATIVE WORDS are seeds of weeds. When we speak them they choke the life out of us, and if we continue to speak negative things over our lives, we will begin to own them, even if we don't want to. 

Practice sweet lips, speaking sweet positive things only, things that will edify your spirit. It will be difficult to get yourself out of the habit of complaining and putting yourself down; but it's not impossible. If you want to change the quality of your life you must begin with changing your words. Take the challenge! For the next week speak positive affirmations about yourself, write them down and post them where you can see them daily. When you're tempted to say something negative, replace it with a positive affirmation. Colossians 4:6 says, "Let your speech be seasoned with grace...", do just that. Season your speech with grace.

Here is a quote I read a few days ago:

"Your words have creative power. With your words, you can either bless your future or curse your future. If you want to know what your life is going to be like five years from now, just listen to what you’re saying about yourself today." - Joel Osteen

Think about it. 

Speak life, sweet lips.

JOY

Hello & Happy Tuesday!

About 5 days ago, I challenged myself to write "a blog a day" along with many other bloggers for the month of August... Well... I haven't written one since August 1st! SMH (Shaking my head)

So, I'm getting back on track! Life happens, and although my initial thought after I failed to post on day two was to quit, I won't! (Go me!!)

Today, I was inspired by a fellow Twitter-Sister Shari and her blog post on friends (What's a girl to do when she has beautiful friends? ). Her post was real and relevant; typical "women stuff". After reading it, I began thinking about life and lots of other things... Today's post reflects my thoughts! Enjoy!

As women we have the naughty habit of comparing ourselves to other women; those we know and those we don't. These comparisons can be very stressful especially when we are comparing ourselves to people that we don't know; like sister-friends that we interact with on social networks. I'm not ashamed to admit that I've fallen victim to this bad habit... I'll see someone online and think to myself "Wow, she's really got her stuff together! Great career or budding entrepreneur, great relationship, cute kids..." And those internal thoughts can go on and on and on and on... (You get the picture).

Well, the fact of the matter is no one has it all together! As much as we all try to make it work and look good, everyone of us has issues; some BIG, some small. Whatever the issues, be it: relationship issues, financial issues, career issues, school issues, home issues, family issues, life purpose issues, hair issues, skin issues, feet issues, insecurities, etc... (You get the picture - Smile).

If we allow these negative thoughts and comparisons to take root and began to control us we'll never be content in life. There will always be another woman who looks better, cooks better, has better hair, drives a nicer car, has a bigger house, has cuter kids, has a nicer husband, has more education, has more money, has cuter clothes & shoes, has a better handbag, has softer hair, has longer hair, has better nails, cuter feet, etc... (You get the picture). What we have to do is count the blessings that we do have, instead of counting the ones that we don't. Just the simple fact that most of us can turn on the faucet and have clean drinking water is a blessing (one that we often take for granted).

Allow yourself to be inspired, by other women, but never envious. Envy will lead to comparison, which in turn can lead to depression and motivation for the wrong reasons. God created all of us for a specific purpose. Embrace your life, gifts and talents. Be inspired, don't beat yourself down. If you ever feel that little comparison thief rising up, speak out loud against it! Say something like "It's awesome to see her doing so well, if she can do great things I know I can".

Be Inspired, to inspire another. LoveLIFE! XO